13/1

Oh God, this weather!
After a relatively calm but cold day today, the wind is picking up again and its snowing on and off.

The forecast for overnight tomorrow into Thursday is appalling and I have everything crossed that the flight to Athens will go....
A delay would be ok, but a cancellation would be shit, as well as expensive :(

Now that I've committed to going to Kalymnos I feel much happier.
I'm not sure, but I have sore swollen glands on the right side of my neck and I feel a little bit under the weather (!). Having said that, today after posting my papers to HMRC, I had lunch at the wall, then a climbing session with Fearghas, Michael, and Raymond and felt good, almost strong!!! My golfers elbow was painfully reminding me it was still there, but other than that, all was well.

At the wall I overcame that embarrassing feeling of saying hello after I'd said so many goodbye's and just got on with things. I reckon they all think I'll never leave. GCC has been my second home and I will miss them all. Many off the staff I've grown to like and think of as friends. Eve I shall miss, Liam the amazing chef, Celina, Pres, Matt et al... And Toddy. I like Tod, always smiling and happy, I'd like to have got to know him better.

I began thinking about how I felt generally, Inside. About the kids and what they must think of their daft dad? I miss them. I hope more than anything else they take the plunge and come and visit once I'm settled. Most of all I send them love. I hope they don't think I'm REALLY crazy haha!!!

I thought about how these last few months and why I've been so clinical about leaving work and leaving the flat, even the car, my awesome little VRS... When he was driven away I just turned around and got on with things... Am I cold? Or is this how commitment feels?
Do I believe so strongly in what I'm doing? I like to think YES to that. My goal is a clear one and my new home, when I get there so warm and welcoming. The journey, the climbing trip, the adventures along the way.... Its what life is all about, maybe what I've missed.

Ridding myself of so much of life's rubbish has been a liberation... Even my wheels. I don't miss TV (though I have wifi to check the weather, so far). I don't miss the car, haven't even thought about that till now.

I will admit though, when I drove the van away from Mansionhouse on the 8th.... The penny finally dropped, that's it, no more flat to go to, I'm in van! Laburnum House is a long way away for now.

I did think to myself, What the fuck am I doing?????

Koon, Raymond, John and Fearghas.

 Thanks Patrick, excellent coffee :)